Innocent Dreams
by Clockwork Night
Summary: "Izaya..what do you look like?" "I..I can't.. you'll know someday.." Shizuo finds himself in the hospital room of Izaya Orihara, a 16 year old with Hemophilia, as the two get closer, he realizes he never knew what Izaya looked like... but he had to know *shizaya* *Izuo* *Love* Yaoi* *boyxboy* *sad* *hospital* *Hemophilia* *snow* *Moo*


_Hello all, this is a random one shot I wrote, please no hate unless it's constructive, thank you..._

_If you have any questions, I don't mind people asking. _

_Written for the song Alone by Eyeshine, and for my best friend. _

_Innocent Dreams_

_-Written by myself-_

_-Rating... T, just for language._

_Enjoy, ne?_

The young blonde shivered, wrapping his arms around his bandaged chest, once again, he was at a complete loss as to where his room was, he wasn't even sure he was on the right floor at that point. He crossed a deadly silent hallway, per usual, Shizuo felt like a moron, having liked in Ikebukuro's hospital for the past 7 months.

"This place is too damn big!" he growled, flipping his shaggy blonde hair from hostile eyes. Though his doctors strongly advised against his vise, he crazed a cigarette, a memory he often drempt of. The smoke swimming by the midnight air like the light reflecting off a foggy river. He cradled a broken arm close to his upper chest, limping down passed rooms lined in darkness. "213.." He breathed, hoping he finally found the right one after a late night exploration, he was displeased to find he had forgotten the number, as his overreacting anger would blow over if he got another dead end.

He moved into the darkness, seeing the fluttering lights of multiple machines. The slow, rattling beep of the heart monitor in a rhythmical tempo, Shizuo cursed himself, realizing his mistake. A soft moan came from a lump in the dark, "Dammit!" he growled deeply, backing away from the room before..

"_H-hello?"_

A raspy whisper arose, the smallest sliver of light couldn't burst from the room. Shizuo paused, the voice was so soft, it confounded him as to who the owner could be. "W-who's there?" the child called, the monitor's beep grew faster

The blonde didn't know whether to stay or leave, he reached behind him, searching almost frantically for a light switch, the child caught the motion

"No! Leave it!" He cried.. "I-I don't like the light.."

Shizuo stopped, wondering what manor of child this was, one hating light? That was something Shizuo missed the most, playing ball with his young brother in the shine of the warm sun. He raised his free hand in apology, "Sorry kid." He said, as kindly as the angered 16 year old could muster, he noticed the pale hand reaching out to him, as if begging. "Listen kid, I just got the wrong room, I'll leave, go back to sleep."

He turned away, hoping to make his escape without upsetting the child, he couldn't see passed his own two hands. "Please... it's been so long since human's have been in this room, besides the staff."Shizuo wondered what was wrong with the kid, talking about humans like he wasn't one himself? The shift of tubes and a bed sheet caught with a strangled breath came from the night. The blonde saw he really had no choice, if left, both he and the boy's sanity could fall to loneliness and despair, if only for a night, he could stay.

"Alright kiddo." He muttered, moving slowly to find a chair, trying not to disturb the machines hooking the mystery to the living, as he found the chair meant for visitors by the bed, he didn't see why having a complete stranger in one's room was so important to the child, "You got a name of what?" he asked, figuring he would be asking the questions. He let out a soft sigh of relief, lowering himself into the chair, silently hoping the ridged position would save him from back pains.

"They call me kid, like you do." the little one whispered, Shizuo rolled his eyes,

"Yeah, but I didn't ask that, what's your name?" He heard the softest of laughs, wishing he could see the face that went with it

"Izaya Orihara."

Shizuo swore he heard that name before, he shook his head, Izaya sighed, the lights of an ambulance flickered from the windows, illuminating the room.

Shizuo only saw the slightest glimpse but in the light, crimson eyes flashed in shadows, causing the blonde to jump back. He had never seen such magnificent color before. "N-nice name.." He stuttered. While his visitor tried to see Izaya, the 15 year old tried to figure out if Shizuo was even real, no one had visited the raven before. His family long since abandoned him, worried not only of his condition, but his mental sanity. The staff came and went, watching helplessly and silently as a 15 year old's Hemophila slowly killed him.

"I'm Shizuo.." The blonde said, though at the hospital, he had a reputation, so he was almost proud to own to his name, "Shizuo Heiwajima."  
"Shi-zu-o..." Izaya repeated, racking his ingenious brain to recall the name, is eyes grew, "Ah, I know you."

"Y-You do?" He saw a figure in the darkness nod his head, he couldn't make out his form though, it pissed him off, not being able to see the kid.

"Heiwajima Shizuo, third floor, ne?" Izaya paused, Shizuo was aghast, but he supposed it wasn't all that bad, the kid gave him the information to find his room, though it was strange that he even knew it in the first place.

Izaya nodded, noticing the slight distress.

"I'm going to be the best informant in the world when I grow up..." he muttered, giving his reasoning.

Night passed the two in little time, Shizuo still curious as to who Orihara Izaya even was. When the first light of dawn broke did the teen realize the time, he didn't even think to look at the man he spent all night with, only thinking of the trouble he'd be in if his nurse found him away from his room.

Shizuo groaned softly, staring out the window at the raining world outside, a cigarette in his right hand, it had been three days since his unplanned with the child in the darkness. But while the blonde watched the raging storm, he wondered if the young Orihara was nothing more than an innocent dream brought on by the haze. Cigarette smoke bellowed into his face, dusting the windows.

"Big brother?"

Shizuo looked up, seeing bright, shining eyes, quickly putting out his vice he wasn't even suppose to have. The blonde smiled, seeing his young brother, "Kasuka?"

The child, per usual, didn't smile, but held tight onto his mother's skirt hem, Shizuo paused, not used to seeing his mother, she had stopped visiting him.

"Hello Shizuo," the woman smiled, reaching for her eldest, though unwilling, he allowed himself to be taken in her arms.

"Yeah..hey mom." He muttered, not particularly liking Namiko Heiwajima, but he smiled at his baby brother. The woman could smell the disgusting smoke on her son, yet she didn't wish to bombard her son so she chose to ignore it.

"Oh sweety, how are you? Are they treating you well?"

Shizuo sighed, he knew if one of his parents would give a damn it would be Namiko... not his jerk of a father. "I'm fine mom." He pulled away from her embrace, turning to his beloved brother. "Hey little man." He smiled, bending down to ruffle Kasuka's raven hair, the younger was emotionless, holding up tiny arms to be held, Shizuo wrapped his own around the child.

"Nii-san.." the youngest Heiwajima whispered,

"Don't worry kiddo, I'm here now." He hated missing out on his baby brother's childhood, hating missing the life of a normal teen.

"A-are you alright, big brother? Are you coming home soon?" Shizuo paused

…

"As soon as they let me out, I promise." He looked up at his mother, "It's been a while since you came around..mom, what's the occasion." The brunette woman sighed

"Kasuka missed you, I missed my little boy, can't you believe that?"

No, he couldn't, not from her. It wasn't a heart filled visit, it never was, but as they ate with Shizuo, watching him lay in that bed, her heart felt heavy, she knew she neglected to see her son, and the two looked so happy. But her husband felt differently. She looked at her watch.

"Shizuo, sweetheart, I have to get Kasuka home, it's passed his bedtime." the blonde and raven stared at her, for the last time, Shizuo took his baby brother in his arms,

"Don't worry Kasuka, I'll be home soon."

His own heart laced with a mute rage, hurt as his brother was taken from him ,"Love...Shizuo.." Kasuke whispered, letting his eyes close

"Love you too little man.." He wanted to be home, tucking Kasuka in at night..but then..

He thought of Izaya, the mystery, a name with no face. Would any visit him if Shizuo was gone? Did he have siblings too?

He pulled himself up, groaning at the hiss of pain, he did promise to see the boy and it had been three days.

The blonde passed rooms, pulling his old Raira jacket on, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Room 213..right?" he asked himself, pushing the glowing green button of the elevator. He waited, watching shadows dance from the last nurse exiting the from the elevator on the opposite side, chattering hushed whispers faded away, leaving Shizuo in silence.

Metal doors slid open, indulging the hall in light, for a moment, he wondered if going to seek the child was a good idea. Though his urge to do his proper research on the boy known as Izaya, he felt as if it would betray the child.

Before giving himself a second thought, Shizuo took the step forward, standing in the illuminated box. He pressed the green number 2 button, watching the doors slid close. The soon ding signaled the arrival in his destination floor. "Here we go.." He whispered, time seemed to slow down as the doors spilled open, showing a darkened hallway, he was shocked, only a floor away, but it was a whole new world.

He moved away, letting the light leave him behind. His footsteps left an echo, making him worry someone was following the blonde teen.

"213..213.." he whispered to himself, quietly checking he numbers until he arrived. Shizuo took in a sharp breath, if he was right and this was real he would see Izaya..or hear, again, a thing he wanted to do but was under surveillance. But if he was wrong, not only would be look a fool, but would get reported for slithering around at night.

His free hand gripped the door way, stepping into the darkness not a sound came and soon he began to worry deeply.

"I-Izaya?" he called in a hushed whisper as his own heartbeat slowed, the dream like monitor's sped up.

"_You came back.."_

Shizuo broke a smile, "Hey Izaya." the sound of sheets rustling made him see the boy sitting up, having to picture what Izaya might look like, Izaya's eyes had long since adjusted to the darkness, staring at the light in Shizuo Heiwajima, he watched the blonde carefully, scared that he would forget what the other looked like and they would be forever separated.

"I didn't think Shizu-chan would come back." the raven muttered, which was true, he finally had a visitor.

"I don't break promises." He remembered his promise to Kasuka and looked down, Izaya perked up

"Do you have a family, Shizu-chan?"

The elder stared into the darkness where he believed Izaya's eyes where. He longed to see the face that belonged to that beautiful voice.

"Yeah.. I got a family, mom, jack ass dad, Kasuka.." Shizuo growled, his hand wondering lower to play with the sheets, "This Kasuka.. he is important to Shizu-chan?"

"He's my baby brother.." The blonde smiled, remembering the times before hospitalization, it was times like that he missed. He looked over under his shaggy hair, "I made a promise today, that I would go home, soon, get a job, a house, maybe even starting a family."

Izaya stifled a laugh, a family was something he felt conflicted about, he hated his own family, as they abandoned him to death, but the very though of raising his own, he would love to be a mother, he couldn't be able to live with a woman, but a man... a man to take care of him, their kids..

"What about you?" the raven jumped back, the wonders of his mind clouding over Shizuo's previous worlds.

"Hm? Yes?"

"Where's your family?"

Izaya could rack his brain enough, where was his family? His sister surely in school, he was bewildered, had no one visited him in 4 years, the raven had no one. "I'll tell you when I figure it out.."

They took turns, asking questions, answering, all though Izaya had an uncanny ability to dodge them, during the night, though Shizuo couldn't see, he had turned away from the ridged chair in favor to the corner of Izaya's bed. The mystery boy was a release, an outlit for Shizuo to speak long hidden feelings and past memories. All the while the raven didn't saw a word, but the blonde knew he was listening.

"It just hurts, you know?" Izaya stayed quiet for a moment longer, processing the information.

"No..I can say I understand, but I don't know." Izaya couldn't know the pain that Shizuo did, being feared for his inhuman strength, how could he know?

"I.." Shizuo stopped, in the darkness, he reached for an icy hand, "I'm sorry." the elder looked in the hall, seeing the show of light, "I'll be back tonight, I promise."

This promise went on, night after night, Shizuo visited Izaya in the secrecy of night, but instead of sitting in a chair, he made his home on the bed, a month passed, and the two where thick as thieves.

Shizuo lay beside the figure on the bed, it was his turn to listen, Izaya, the usual quiet child, couldn't contain himself, the blonde only say a flamboyant hand creating great gestures, he spoke of his young sisters, who turned out younger than Kasuka, his life, his lust for information, and he spoke of the stars, tiny, insignificant things that until then, Shizuo paid no mind to them.

But Izaya talked of them like they where the most beautiful thing, Shizuo smiled, feeling his heart warm, at a small age his father described such a feeling, it was a strange emotion.

Shizuo was falling in love.

Just hearing the raven's voice made him smile, the moments he was in his room, or when Izaya was locked away in his own, Shizuo felt lonely, he loved Izaya, even if he never saw his face.

"Izzy.." Shizuo asked, "What do you look like?"

Izaya paused, he didn't know why, just show the man his face, show him he cared for..

"I-I can't..you'll see someday.."

That's all he would say on the matter.

Shizuo looked back from the desk, his heart screaming in his chest

_No! No! No!_

It was the dreaded, yet anticipated day, the day his mother and father came to his room, the day of his 17th birthday.

"Are you ready to go, Shizuo?" his father questioned, the blonde looked up

_No!_

"...Sure."

Kichiro Heiwajima nodded at his eldest son, after endless months of ignoring the teen, he decided it was high time to uproot him once more and take the boy home.

Shizuo felt torn, while he was utterly overjoyed to leave the solitude...

Izaya...

The boy he came to love without even knowing what he looked like, the words refused to come, he didn't even give his best friend a proper goodbye!

Namiko put pen to paper, signing the release form that granted her son is freedom, Shizuo saw a stun of ebony flash in the corner of his eyes, the tall blonde turned, seeing who stood beside the 'happy' family.

A bunble of raven walked forward to the counter, black hair shielded a pale face as long, razor sharp, painted nails drummed on the mahogany. Shizuo's mother kissed her son's head, taking her leave to the car waiting outside.

Shizuo was captivated, watching the slender figure filling out papers, he couldn't be older than Shizuo, the 17 year old cocked his head, he had never seen the raven before.

"Are you coming son?" Kichiro asked, he raven set the pen down, turning to leave, puling a black hood lined with fur over his head to guard from the shattering rain. Shizuo's heart bounded out of his chest, his breath stuck in his throat.

Electrifying crimson eyes stabbed into mocha, the blonde swore he had witnessed such magnificence before... his father growled, seeing his son's interests, "Let's go Shizuo."

Black hair framed a perfectly pale face, ruby lips set to match his eyes, parting, contrasting to the icy white skin, thin, nimble fingers played with the white fur lining his jacket. The beauty walked past him, he was significantly shorter. He smiled sadly, as if he wished to say something, but thought better of it. The familiarity almost scared him, Shizuo stumbled back, shell-shocked.

The automatic doors slid open, allowing the beauty exit. The smell of vanilla and fresh blood passed as he did. Questions filled Shizuo's head

He knew those eyes

He knew that Smell...

He knew those hands

"I-Izaya.." he whispered, his father put a stern hand on Shizuo's shoulder

"Let's go son." He tugged his arm, pulling the hurt teen away, yet only one thing passed his one track mind.

The boy he grown to love may have just walked out of his life forever.

Night eclipsed the city of Ikebukuro, casting shadows in the clean snow, the 23 year old sighed, shoving his hands into the black slacks. He couldn't go home, it felt lonely, the long nights where cold and silent. The heated smoke from his cigarette billowed smoke into the foggy, midnight air.

He walked through the fallen snow, kicking up rocks as he curiously followed slightly hidden footprints. Shizuo wanted to know where they led, he wanted to follow them, having grown rather bored of the same sights, day in and day out. He continued on his way, his eye caught the end point, the upcoming distance sat a playground.

Not a nice playground, one s=dusted with peeling paint and crimson rust, one with plating torn, and metal nails shoved into the equipment lazily. He cocked his head, tossing the cigarette into the snow, it sizzled on impact. His eyes scanned slowly across the perimeter, seeing the slight wooded area that rest just before the soft Yuki river.

That was where he stood,

A shadowed figured in the nigh, the fogged moonlight illuminated the frozen river and the 22 year old staring deeply into it's waters. Shizuo, breifly, was taken back, it was an odd place to visit in the middle of the winter night.

Shizuo decided, if they where both alone, why not be alone..together?

He walked forward, the snow creating a hushed mute across the abandoned park. The shadow refused to move, only when Shizuo's footsteps drew closer did he bristle into his defense.

A soft smile played on his lips as he whispered into the wind

"_You came back."_

Shizuo paused, almost unaware the words were even real, then moved to stand next to the raven.

"It's a bit cold to be out here alone.."

The raven smiled, fingering the ivory fur lining his jacket, "I suppose it is.." Shizuo smiled, though dream-like, he knew..it had to be

"Then why don't we be alone.. together? It wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

Izaya paused, breathing in a sigh of east, he turned, facing the man whom he once loved, violent crimson eyes stared into mocha, the smile on his ruby lips, sharp teeth poken through, his breath came out in a puff in the cold.

"You came back, Shizu-chan.."

The two sat in the shivering cold, the slide beneath them, fingers intertwined. Shizuo, as kindly as he could, demanded an explanation, thus Izaya told of his perils,

"There isn't much to say.. I was diagnosed with Hemophila.. when I was a baby, I spent most of my life there, but they left me."

Izaya's story was one of tragidy, one Shizuo's heart felt heavy just by hearing.

"But you..you came back.." Izaya whispered, his tiny fingers teying frantically to match the strength of Shizuo's.

The love Shizuo once had for the small raven came back stronger in a flood. Trying to suppress his feelings for 7 years proved a difficult to impossible task.

"Iz.." Shizuo chocked, but Izaya already turned, staring deeply into the man he loved, the blonde melted, he didn't completely understand why Izaya never wanted him to see his face, he was stunningly beautiful.

"Shizu-chan...  
The two stared at each other, subconsciously getting closer, "Thank you for coming back.."

Shizuo sealed the space between the two, pressing their lips together, Izaya's eyes grew wide, bearly ignoring the natural instinct to push away, he let his eyes fall shut.

The two stayed that way, a gentle kiss with their hands pressed together, the cold adding to the raven's rosy cheeks. Shizuo pulled away for only a moment, allowing his love to breath, using his free hand to wrap around Izaya's slender waist.

"Iz..I love you.."

There..he said it, his undying feelings, the love he felt and kept a sworn secret since he was 16,

"I've been waiting for you to say that.."

Izaya let himself be pulled back into the blonde's arms, a smile graced his lips. A passionate embrace took lead, no long were they even separate soul, but creating one. Shizuo took his small lover in his arms, cradling him like a bride, his own voice a whisper as it was taken by the winter winds.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that.." The blonde laughed, he couldn't get enough of that smile.

The 23 year old was truly in love, feeling Izaya in his arms

"I love you too Shizu-chan."


End file.
